The end?

I guess I should tell you what's happened. Shortly after I wrote that comment on the last post responding to the Child, she entered my bedroom. Seething with anger, I shouted, "Stop messing with my head!"

She smiled. "Now, now. You'll appreciate me soon enough."

I pushed past her, laptop in hand, and dashed to the living room. She, not surprisingly, followed.

At a loss, I shouted, "Nightlanders, if you really want me so badly, then help me!!"

As I watched, black stains inched up the walls and soon my piles of books were flying through the air, straight at the Child. She tried to move out of the way, but it was too late. She was swiftly buried.

The Dog (in the guise of a Rottweiler) came in, teeth bared, growling. Its eyes were red and it was foaming at the mouth. Before my eyes, it began to grow.

Before it could attack me, I ran into the kitchen, where I grabbed the first weapon I found: a large knife. The great beast lunged at me, and I stabbed toward it, hoping to cause it pain. My panic and desperation and the fact that it was a beast must have overridden any worries.

Luck was with me: I had sliced its eye. It hesitated, and I took the opportunity, digging the blade as far in as it would go. But I couldn't pull it out. The knife was stuck.

Frantic to have a means of defense before the creature recovered, I whirled around the room. Finally I spotted the meat cleaver.

I turned back around just in time; it leapt toward me. I swung the cleaver, severing its back right leg.

I decided to get out of the house as quick as I could. I was climbing into my car when I heard the Dog come out after me. I saw humanoid bodyparts in its make-up. It must have used the Child to heal itself.

I heard her screaming. "You traitorous wretch! I'll--"

I stopped listening and slammed the door. The abomination approached. I started up the engine and acting on instinct, I rammed head-on into the Dog, smashing its body against the front of my house. Loose fragments of bricks clattered to the ground.

Backing up, I decided in my panic to head to one of the few places in my life: the bookstore I used to work for.

It chased me. All the way there. For twenty minutes. It never slowed even for a moment.

Once I parked, I jumped out and ran through the entrance.

"Everybody! This is an emergency! You have to get out now!"

People looked at me in confusion until they saw the 5-foot-tall Dog bounding in behind me. There was screaming and running. Parents scooped up children and made for the emergency exits.

I ran straight down the main aisle, the Dog close behind.

I dove into the children's section, hiding under the table where puzzles sat. The Dog hadn't seen me go under, so it began to sniff for my location.

I coughed and looked down at my hand. It was turning blue.

The place got quieter as most people had left, and the ones who remained were frozen in fear or unsure what to do.

The bell jingled as the entrance opened.

"Mr. Ni-ven!" came a sing-song voice.

My heart skipped a beat.

"Mr. Niven, I know you're here! You shouldn't have done what you did! After I deal with my dog, I'm coming for you. And you will love me and spoil me and be heartbroken when I leave. Forever."

I saw her tiny shoes come into view. A trail of blood flowed down the front of her dress and dripped from the stump of her arm.

I whispered a curse.

Coming closer, she lowered her head until she could see me with her lone eye. The empty socket leaked blood onto the floor.

"I can't forgive you this time. No matter how much you pamper me, I will hate you. Won't that make you feel even worser?

She left me alone. I heard their incessant whispering in my head. Trembling, I held my breath.

I tried to relax, like the Voice taught me, but it wasn't helping. I couldn't do it.

I remembered what it said--not to hold my breath. I forced myself to inhale and exhale with deep breaths. I still trembled.

Shadows raced across the walls toward me.

"Help me," I whimpered. "Please!"

The Darkness surrounded me; there was no way out this time, not even a Door.

Adrenaline raced through my veins. Something in my head snapped and I was no longer afraid. Of anything.

The Darkness moved closer, but when my blue hand came into view, they stopped. I don't know why. Maybe because the Plague Doctor had marked me, because I was his target?

Whatever the reason, I seized the moment and sprinted from them.

I met up with the Dog and together we sought refuge in the storage room. Now that we were alone, he turned on me, but I was ready.

I kicked it on the nose and grabbed a boxcutter that was lying among the boxes. The Dog tore my shirt. I sliced and stabbed at the beast until sweat was pouring down my face. It lay unmoving in a bloody heap.

Quietly exiting the room, I peeked around the corner and saw the Child there. She saw me. She smiled an inhuman smile. "Daddy!"

She came toward me, as though for a hug.

I ran back to the front of the store. The Child was right behind me.

I heard the door to the storage closet burst open and terrified screams of children.

The Shadows joined the race.

"How can you be doing this to me!" I yelled. "You're fictional!!!"

The Child answered calmly, "So are you."

Thinking about my options, I hesitated a moment, worried that Faceless might be right--am I a child killer? She was closing in. As fear and uncertainty and doubt gradually bled into my psyche, I realized that I was having a relapse.

But I couldn't let the fear hinder me, so I took a few deep breaths and forced myself through it, subsequently stopping and sticking out my leg, which tripped the Child. Then I saw that she was next to one of the bookshelves. Quickly running to the other side, I shoved it onto her. To my surprise, I found satisfaction in her groans of pain.

I doubled back down the path I came, the Darkness in pursuit.

Regardless of my being the target of Others, they still wanted me for their purposes.

The lights began to flicker and sparks flew.

In their frustration, they turned to re-ordering whoever was left in the building in our path.

It was a terrible sight. I'd rather not describe it.

Some of the sparks caused books to catch on fire. The place being filled with ample fuel, the bookstore would soon be an inferno.

The Shadows fled. I left out the back door.

The store burned fast. I saw no one else come out. I hope that's the end of the Child and Dog.

Knowing the Nightlanders would likely still pursue me, I jogged to the park--a place that would be devoid of people at this time of night.

I could see them slithering after me in the pools of light cast by the streetlamps.

At the park, I tripped and fell, skinning my knee and getting dirt and grass all over me.

At the playground where the Child had first approached me from, they had me in their grasp. I was blocked by Them and by the playscape. I started climbing up some metal bars.

"Come with us," they whispered. "We are patient and merciful. We will give you another chance."

"You think I'll go with you after what you did to my sister? You're out of your minds!"

"Then we have no choice but to re-order yours."

They closed in and I clenched my eyes shut, preparing for the worst.

They scattered, and held their position several yards away from me. Turning, I saw that a Door had appeared next to me. I climbed off the playscape and took a couple steps toward it.
Laughing with relief, I slid to the ground, my back against the Door. I was safe for now. The Nightlanders wouldn't dare come near, and the Door wouldn't open itself. As long as I sat there and the Door remained, I was safe.

The Door has stood here for several hours now.

I think the City wants me, too.


I'm thinking about going in.

I know what happened last time, and I know it isn't the best idea. But once again, there is no other escape.

I have begun coughing up more blood. I don't think I have long to live.

That's why I think I have to go through the Door.

I recognize the clothes I'm wearing. Since time works differently in the City, it may prolong my life.

And at least I'll be free from the Others once inside. Wandering aimlessly for an eternity is better than being torn apart, or losing your life's purpose and meaning, or being controlled. Or dying from a horrible disease.

There's nowhere else for me to go. The City is the most freedom I'll get.


And if I don't really exist, does it really matter if I live or die?

But at least I fought back.

I'm afraid. I don't know what to expect or hope for anymore. The world no longer makes sense.

But I did all I could.

I'm going in now. Here goes nothing.

I can't take it anymore!!!

Tonight the Child and the Dog die.

Even if it's the last thing I do.

Father-Daughter Bonding

Got everything fixed, so I can update from home again.

My precious child and me ate popcorn and watched a movie on television. In fact, it was The Exorcist. She didn't like it. Said it should've been scarier.

Anyway, I promised to take her out to get ice cream tomorrow.

Who knew being a father was so much fun? (Though it'd be easier if I wasn't afraid I might just up and choke her at any given moment.)

She's started wanting me to put her hair into braids. How cute. (But what if I yank her hair hard enough to rip it out and she bleeds?)

I've already tucked her in and read her a bedtime story--Rumplestiltskin. Only, in this version, Rumplestiltskin succeeds in taking the baby. She insisted on that ending. Oh, he also eats the baby at the end. She thought that was the funniest thing. :)

Me going along with that so easily was...disheartening.

I wish I wasn't so worried all the time. Poor thing needs a father who isn't distracted by irrational fears.

I'm ready to kill

That little witch cut my phone line and smashed my cell phone! I'm having to access the Internet from the library.

How am going to make an appointment now?

Then again, if this is from a supernatural entity like the Plague Doctor, perhaps no one can help.

My throat is sore and I've been itching all over. My insides are roiling and I want to die!

More than just from this sickness. Even when my head is clear and I'm fully aware of what she is, my intrusive thoughts have been acting up, and I've been sweating a lot out of terror. I'm on the verge of tears.

A brighter day

I'm feeling better today.

I'm not sure if it was a dream, but last night I thought I woke up and saw shadows moving on the walls. The Dog barked for awhile and I think that scared them away.

Thinking back to my time at Shady Lawn has got me worrying that they might have injected me with something without my knowledge.

I think I should see a doctor. I'll be more careful this time, though.

Ugh

I ahve started coughing up blood. I think I'm sick with something. I feel terrible.

The Child acted all sweet and innocent all day. I hate her.

This is a short post because I;m going to lie down now,

What She Wants

So me and the Child went to an amusement park today called Funfunfun! (Yeah, lame, I know.)

We were having the time of our lives until I hit my head during one of those rides where you spin around really fast. I felt like I was going to lose my lunch. Anyway, that bump brought me out of my stupor.

My head clear, I demanded the Child explain to me what she wanted.

"Well, Mr. Wells (or should I say Niven?), I was intrigued by you. You know why?"

I didn't answer.

"Here's why: we're the same, you and me. I'm without a name; you're without a name, in a way. I become the focus of people's lives to the point where all they have is me; you were all your parents had. I betray them and leave, breaking their hearts, and they lose the will to live without me. They lose their purpose in life. You betrayed your parents, too, by abandoning them.

"Basically, you're my little experiment: I want to know what happens to someone when I do to them the same thing that they did to others. WHat happens when I target someone like me? It will be fun. It will be fascinating."

"Not sure how that will work out," I said. "I've been having intrusive thought problems again. Assuming you've read my blog you're well aware. What if I just up and decided to hurt you on purpose, while I'm still lucid? Not accidental thoughts, but intentional ones. No anxiety. What if I pull you out of the restraints and hurl you off this thing? What if I smashed your head into the side? I could, you know. I'm willing to go to a mental institution if it means the end of you, so long as that maniac Beakman doesn't work there," I said bitterly. Then added, "I've decided that my purpose in life is to destroy you, and the others like you. You won't take that from me. I won't let you."

She laughed. Not like a child laughs, but like an old woman, but still with a child's voice.

"Good luck with that. You will have succumbed to me soon enough."

Finally the ride stopped and we got off.

"I'm going home," I said.

Not surprisingly, she followed me.

Some kids we passed as we exited the park pointed and made jokes about how hideous the Child was. They stopped when they saw my look of anger, though it was not aimed at them. I made a sign to encourage them to continue.

This brat needs as many people as possible against her. She's an infernal, impish trap.

She's still here with me now. I wish she would leave me alone.