Star Wars: Episode II: Attack of the Clones

                On to Episode II. Should I really be linking to the Amazon page here? Does it offend anybody? Just curious.

                So the title crawl says that thousands of systems are leaving the Republic. Why? What do they want? What is their reason for leaving? Anyway, the Senate must vote on the critical issue of creating an ARMY OF THE REPUBLIC. Yeah, it’s capitalized just like that for some reason. Nothing else in the text is emphasized in that way. In fact, none of the other crawls in the other films does that except A New Hope (DEATH STAR) and ROTJ (GALACTIC EMPIRE). Those are two-word names for important pieces of the story while this is four words (including two unimportant ones). If George had simply done a rewrite to be more consistent and not, well, weird, it could have read REPUBLIC ARMY. Leaving it the way it is just seems bizarre and out of place.

                Amidala is on her way back to the Senate to vote on the ARMY OF THE REPUBLIC. We open on another boring shot of ships lazily drifting toward their destinations. The sky is very foggy, oddly enough. You’d think if they can literally turn a whole planet into a giant city, they’d also be able to control the weather. We’ve seen extremely advanced technology, but they don’t seem to be able to do this one simple thing. How many accidents are there on such foggy days?

Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace

                And so it begins.

   >Deep Breath<

   *Siiiiiiiiiiiggggghhh*

                So, the title crawl:

   War! Oh, sorry. Wrong one.

                Okay, okay. I’ll stop procrastinating, but can you really blame me? You can? Well, I don’t care what you think.

                According to the title crawl, there is trouble in the Republic on account of taxation of trade routes. People apparently hate it. So, the Trade Federation acts calmly and rationally about it and—blockades the planet of Naboo with deadly battleships!?

 

                Well, the Federation IS run by aliens; I’m sure the humans will act much more reasonably.

Star Wars: Introduction

               I hereby start my long review saga. It will cover all six Star Wars films. Why include the original trilogy? Because, for one thing, no movie is perfect, and also for completion’s sake. And to complain just like everyone else about the CGI additions.

                I wish George Lucas were CGI.

A Change in Format

Starting with the upcoming Star Wars reviews, I will be changing how I review material. Up till now I've been giving basic, traditional reviews about what was good or bad about the work. But in order to establish certain elements that will factor into my theory about the continuity inconsistencies and the unexplained bits of the prequels, I will be moving to the recap format, popular among many video reviewers, as well as text-based ones.

Now I will be going through a run-down of plot and characters and continuity as I summarize each film or book or whatever. That way, it will give readers who aren't familiar with the works more context for my continuity entries, and it will remind those who are of certain elements important to my theories.

That is all for now.

Something Wicked This Way Comes--The Disney Movie?

WARNING: SPOILERS

I find it amazing that Disney of all companies is the one that chose to make a movie of Something Wicked This Way Comes. Let me remind you--a book that inspired Steven King!

So, is it a good adaptation? Well, there are some good things and some bad things.

Let's start with the good, shall we?

First of all, I'd like to say I thought Jonathan Pryce was a great choice for Mr. Dark. He was as calm and gentlemanly yet menacing as he should be. Jason Robards did well as Charles Halloway. I especially liked the confrontation in the library.